You see...I was supposed to be pregnant right now. Actually, I was supposed to be pregnant last October. But really, I really should've accidentally been impregnated some time in the last 4yrs...seeing how nothing was ever done to prevent it. But no...for some reason, some reason much bigger than you or I could know...I'm not pregnant. 4 months with the fertility specialist, mastering how to give myself a shot (which I have to admit, I actually have enjoyed feeling like a little nurse), the two week dreadful waiting period for finding out whether or not the turkey baster worked, a couple of family fasts(thank you family), and many many visits to the Dr for ultra sounds...I'm not pregnant.
I'll tell you something...Camelback Mountain will most definitely be feeling my anger tomorrow!! hehe, jk. But really, I am going to do my new recent favorite thing tomorrow...jog up as much of Camelback as I can. And then a fun little trip to Scottsdale Mall w/ my mother n-law and new found and very much loved extended cousins, Debbie and Ghislaine and Great Aunt Cletha...A perfect way to spend my Beloved Half Day Tuesday.
I have an appointment w/ my doctor on Wednesday to discuss what will be next...I'm thinking it will most likely be in-vitro. To many of you, in-vitro isn't a big deal because you hear about people doing it all the time now. But I wasn't supposed to need to do in-vitro. There's nothing wrong with me, dangit!! So it is a big deal to me. But I won't be thinking about that tomorrow. Tomorrow will be my day. My day to do things that give me relief. Make me happy. ENDORPHINS, I miss you. I've been cutting back on the vigorous running for my IUI's. But I think I'm going to take a breather. Yes, in-vitro can wait until summer. Summer is a very relaxed time of year. Perfect. I need relaxed.
Not to be bitter...that's what I choose.
11 comments:
Good choice!!! I can't even imagine what you're going through and to have such a great attitude...good for you! I've had many a friends do in-vitro and they're all pregnant now so good luck to you! And go kick that mountain's butt!
Oh Sweet Sister!
Kick the A** out of that mountain tomorrow!! I wish I had the courage to do it along with you. But I'm afraid you'd be up and down before I get 1/4 of the way up. And that would really show my age :)
Summer time... just around the corner. Take a deep breath.
I love you...
Awww chrissy poo, I am sorry, I really really am. However... I glad to see you have come out of blog hibernation! And just enjoy your time alone, bc in a year or so you will have at least 2 babies on your hip, I just know it! love ya!
Christy, I'm sorry. I'm sure nothing anyone can say helps, but I'm thinking of you! I'm glad you're being positive!! keep us updated!!
How frustrating! I hope everything works out for you guys!
I'm with Amy..I know you guys will have some cute babies one of these days. Hopefully sooner than later. I just had a really crazy day with Clark and sometimes I wish I could just freeze time and enjoy a little mommy free time. Before you know it, you will be in the thick of motherhood ! Hope you had a great day filled with endorphins and fun finds at the mall!
I swear this happens so much. I have so many friends well about four that are in the same boat. I'll just say you will be a great mother no matter what and my brother is adopted and he is just as much my brother as my blood one. Good luck.
Well, there's nothing wrong with taking a day to be bitter, angry, frustrated and sad, but just a day.
I wish there were more that I could do for you than giving you permission to mope for a day but I have learned that sometimes a day is all it takes.
Love ya kiddo
Um...lame that I have to hear about the last "round" not working from your BLOG!! Lame.
I'm so, so sorry. You know how much we love you guys and want this for you more than anything for you. Especially so our kids can have some cousins!;)Hang in there guys. I have learned a great deal from our own trials and know you will look back on this and thank your Father in Heaven for the opportunity He has given you to stretch your faith in Him, and whatever else he wants you to find through this.
We love you sooo much. Keep smilin' like you always do!
I love you Chris and Christy! Can't wait till you guys come to visit! You're always in my prayers:)
oh christy....we need to talk!!! We are in the EXACT same spot. I have gained 10 pounds of "not-running" weight...and i miss it soooooo bad. But whatever happens it will be worth it. Oh and thanks for opening your blog up again!! seriously we should talk. It feels really good to talk to someone who is doing the same thing.
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