Roxie is here! Arrived Thursday morning at 3:30. Here's a picture of sweet Roxie and her bald cancer free dad, my brother Spencer :)
And me with Roxie...yes, it's a very blurry picture...
I went over to Spencer and Alisha's house Wednesday night to work on some pressure points. Luckily her body was ready and reacted well to the massage. I love Alisha...Spencer was saying how he wasn't ready and she just laughed and told him he better get ready! She's had three of her four children with out an epidural. She says its only because she has a fast labor. I think it's really because she's extremely tough and has the highest pain tolerance of anyone I know.
So...how come newborns make me cry so much?? Why can't I just soak in their sweetness and only be overjoyed for their family? Why do I have to get this pit in my throat that makes tears swell up in my eyes. I love Roxie...she's a little piece of heaven for Spencer and Alisha's family right now. I love Spencer and Alisha, they deserve nothing less. I'm so happy for them right now. So why did those darn tears have to come Thursday while holding that sweet Roxie in the hospital...the last thing I wanted to do was make Alisha feel bad for me! She just had a healthy baby and should be able to soak in all the goodness that comes from that! I really hope she didn't feel bad...those really weren't my intentions. I don't love seeking out pity from people at this point in my life. I think thats because I really don't pity myself...except for when being around newborns...especially in the hospital maybe?? It's just that Chris and I have received so much peace and comfort from our Heavenly Father in knowing that we get to receive our children through the miracle of adoption! And that makes being infertile totally ok...except when being around newborns so fresh from heaven I suppose...
Anyway...we can not wait to hold our baby for the first time. I can't imagine anything sweeter then that single moment. I had a little talk with Roxie and told her she better have convinced her cousin into coming down soon!! We're just getting anxious and oh so excited! :)
5 comments:
You can be 100% happy for someone else, and still ache for your own baby. I know the feeling. And sometimes the tears are just uncontrollable! I think I've made a few people feel bad for me unintentionally, after hearing their good news. But people do whether I cry or not, not matter how much I wish it wasn't the case. It's hard being the one that people are afraid to tell that they're pregnant. But all you can do is handle it the best way can in the moment. Sometimes that's better than others. I must admit though that I've stopped going to baby showers unless it's for someone I'm really really close to. The shopping for baby stuff, nobody talking about anything but their own kids...it's just too much. Thanks for the honesty of your blogs. It ones where you handle things well give me strength, and the not so well just makes me feel like I'm normal.
Ha ha, I'm on my husband's computer...that was VoNique.
We've never met but my parents {the klepingers} are in your in-laws ward. I heard you guys had your adoption papers in and that is so great. My husband and I were in your shoes a few years back and are now lucky enough to be the parents of 3 busy boys:) You can read our story on our blog if you are interested but I really just wanted to say all those feelings you feel are real and legit. Don't ever feel guilty about that. One day soon when you are blessed to be a mommy you can help others going through the same:) Good luck in your journey!
Lyndsie
themcmullinfamily.blogspot.com
are you kidding? tears are pouring down my cheeks just thinking about holding that newborn and the pit you must feel wanting one of your own. you have every right to tear up, it doesn't make you any less happy for your sis & bro! i know that their little cousin will come here soon - and he/she has the PERFECT parents waiting for them!
Cousin, you feelings are normal, there is nothing wrong with longing to hold your own child in your arms while holding anothers, it only makes you human.
I think I know where Spencers hair went!
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